People Who Have Many Faces

Wednesday's blog entry (being written on Thursday :)) is about people with more than one face.

This topic has to be one that everyone reading this blog is familiar with. Certainly at SOME point someone has demonstrated the "super-human ability" (and I call it that because I have the hardest time wrapping my head around this) to have more than one face in their communications with you.

The dictionary online defines two-faced as the following:

two-faced (adj.)
1. Having two faces or surfaces.
2. Hypocritical or double-dealing; deceitful

What does this definition make me think of when I read it? Hmmm...well, certainly not FRIEND. Certainly not LOVE. Certainly not KINDESS. In fact, it really fills my mind with descriptive words that are the DIRECT OPPOSITE of any words I would want to be used to describe ME or someone that I care about.

Recently, someone I do care about has been at the receiving end of some actions from someone who was two-faced. Being on the outside and looking in, all I can do is shake my head and ask "why?". Why would someone who professed to care about someone else act in a double-dealing or deceitful way? Why would someone - ANYONE - purposefully make the decision to say one thing to one person, maybe thinking that it would NEVER get back to the other, and then turn around and be the first one to try to be "there" for you when times got tough? How could someone like that look at themselves in a mirror? How could someone like that even SPEAK with you again after saying or doing something so incredibly false?

If you really REALLY have something to say to someone that you feel strongly about - whether it's something that happened between the two of you, something that you feel strongly about in a negative way or even something that you say in the heat of the moment - maybe you were just letting off steam - DON'T BE A COWARD. Don't turn your head in the other direction to the person you said these things about and profess to care about them - to say sweet things to them - to act concerned about them - when in your mind you are still clinging to the things you said ABOUT THEM to someone else.

How SHOULD two-faced people handle their bahavior once they have done this? Well, it's known in some circles as a "pre-emptive strike". If you know you have done something like this, have the guts to fess up to the person you wronged...tell them the situation. Here, I have taken the liberty to write a little generic script for a two-faced person in how to deal with trying to fix their indiscretions:

"When I was talking with someone I said some things to them about you. They were lies/half-truths/something I thought or felt at the time (pick one), but I know better now that it was my own feelings about the situation that led me to say those things in the first place - and this had nothing to do with you. I was extremely unfair to you by saying things that would hurt you. It was selfish, hurtful, childish, and very wrong of me to do this to you and I have learned a lesson that careless behavior like this can have consequences on my character and on what other people think about me."

Now, those who have been hurt? There you go - hand THAT to the next person who is two-faced to you. Let them know that whenever they are ready to apologize, you'll be there to listen to the script as long as they mean each and every word.

Really the only way I know of to deal with someone you know is dealing with you in a decietful manner is...to let it go. I know, I know. But you MUST LET IT GO. You can make sure THEY know that YOU know what they did - but YOU must let it go - for your own mental health. There is no way you can control the words coming from someone else's mouth. And that person - the two-faced one - does not earn respect with their words. No one wants to trust someone who says bad things about someone to them and then acts like nothing is wrong to the person they talked about. No one wants to even be around someone like that. Because of this ONE conclusion:

IF THEY DID THAT TO SOMEONE I KNOW, THEY COULD DO IT TO ME.

Two-faced people get a reputation - and NOT a good reputation.

This song is for both those who have been two-faced, and those who have been hurt by other people.