Depression

You know, I have never read this or heard it said, but from personal experience I can say that I had no idea that the people around me were hurting so much until I admitted my own depression here a couple of weeks ago.

Friends and loved one have been coming to me privately and telling me of their own heartbreak and sadness - sharing thoughts of very deep sadness and depression that they have had trouble pulling themselves out from under. I not only share their pain, I also recognize it.

I was diagnosed with depression once before in my life. I had just broken up with an abusive and violent ex-fiance who was an alcoholic. It pretty much screwed me up for a long time. They put me on medication - which I promptly refused to take because I hate medication. That's not my suggestion for EVERYONE, but it was my personal choice. I talked to a friend of mine - Brandon, the same friend from WAY back in high school (still a good friend, btw) who used to have to dissect things for me - and he basically talked me well. I think he was sick to death of listening to me eventually and he just let me have it. He jerked me back into reality - reminding me of all the things that could have gone wrong that didn't (I could have married the jerk, for instance) and it occurred to me that he was right of course. It didn't happen overnight, but his manner of "tough love" was just what I needed.

This time around, it takes a VILLAGE. I have been at the receiving end of a LOT of tough love and it's been coming from a lot of people I care about and BOY has it helped. I read my first couple of posts on this blog and already I realize how much my attitude has changed. I did some research about dealing with depression today and I thought I would share some of the excellent points. BY ALL MEANS, see a doctor if you can. Me? Well, between my schedule and my responsibilities, seeing a counselor hasn't really been an option for me. So my route has been the self-help one.

Self-help, Dealing with Depression:
excerpts taken from Dealing With Depression

1. Cultivate Supportive Relationships
I have been blessed with this especially, with this blog leading the way to me helping cultivate both new and existing relationships with my friends and loved ones.

2. Take Care Of Yourself
I could do better here, but I have spent some additional time taking care of myself like choosing a new yummy-smelly shower gel over soap more often lately to get a little lift from the aromatherapy - but this also includes doing things you like to do that you haven't done in a while - and I have been doing this a LOT

3. Get Regular Exercise
This has been harder since I have been fighting a severe viral infection since early January but I am finally at the tail end of it...I was in a GREAT routine before that and it involved jogging and sit ups daily - I neeeeeeed to get back into that - but I am *HOPEFULLY* going hiking in the mountains this weekend! YAY! Plus the weather is getting so much nicer - so it's only a matter of time before the bike gets un-tarped!

4. Eat A Healthy Mood-Boosting Diet
I have had a little trouble minimizing the sugar - i'm sorry but I run to chocolate when I am sad - so I own the Hershey's company about now... ;) Just KIDDING - but even things like hot cocoa (which I almost never EVER drink - even before losing weight) I have been finding indulging in now and then simply because it's offering a sweet pick-me-up. I need a LOT more fish in my diet...I have a huge bag of shrimp in the freezer that are calling me name, but tonight we're having pork - so maybe tomorrow. I don't really LIKE Salmon, but it's all I can think of right now

5. Challenge Negative Thinking
This is something I need to work on. The information I found recommends the following:
* Think outside yourself. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions.
* Keep a “negative thought log”. Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot down the thought and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your log when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. For a second opinion, you can also ask a friend or therapist to go over your log with you.
* Replace negatives with positives. Review your negative thought log. Then, for each negative thought, write down something positive. For instance, “My boss hates me. She gave me this difficult report to complete” could be replaced with, “My boss must have a lot of faith in me to give me so much responsibility.”
* Socialize with positive people. Notice how people who always look on the bright side deal with challenges, even minor ones, like not being able to find a parking space. Then consider how you would react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and persistence in the face of difficulty.

6. Raise Your Emotional Intelligence
I took a corporate seminar on my E.Q. when I worked for Countrywide Home Loans. I had to deal with so many different types of managers and I found it exceedingly helpful. Some tips about developing a stronger emotional intelligence are:

*(EQ) skill 1: The ability to quickly reduce stress.
*(EQ) skill 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions.
*(EQ) skill 3: The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication.
*(EQ) skill 4: The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.
*(EQ) skill 5: The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.

As I read through these, I think to myself that I could be doing a lot better here too. Another thing to work on! :)

7. Know When To Get Additional Help
I have taken advantage of SOOOOO many friends these past few weeks. They have listened and talked and let me re-hash and just go on and on. Some days this has helped me so much - and others, wow, I felt the pain and hurt and sadness and even frustration all over again. Sometimes I feel angry with myself and sometimes I am angry with others. I am recognizing triggers though, and that's very helpful. I realize when there's something that is about to send me into a sadness-spiral and I have been trying to head that off before it happens by stopping and recognizing the situation and the feeling. My additional help has been my friends - but if things were different, I would definitely relish the opportunity to meet with someone. I think it goes without saying that getting outside help is SO important and SO valuable.

Anyway, I hope this has helped those who need it - those who need to feel peace. One friend just put their depression into words by saying "it's like I have been nauseated for 24/7 during the past 10 months". Being depressed takes a LOT out of a person. I know my eyes still ache sometimes and I have even been able to sleep from 9-something at night until 6:30 in the morning. About 9 hours of sleep - when I used to get 5 hours. A TOTAL SWITCH - but a healthy one, nonetheless.

Sending comfort to everyone today...by way of HARVEST - a Christian rock group from the 1990's. This song gives me peace.