Friday...except it's VERRRY early Saturday

I am awake at this godforsaken hour baking a zillion cinnamon streusel muffins for E's school "clothing swap" tomorrow! PHEW...the house smells incredible and I have one last batch to transfer to the pretty blue basket I set aside with the lovely Williams Sonoma white-and-blue-striped dishtowel. PRETTY PRETTY. :) It will make all the other volunteer workers happy too! We brought in 40 items to trade, so we get to take 40 items with us tomorrow - here's hoping they have some things! E. could use a new summer wardrobe for FREE.

What a week it has been. E got in trouble for kissing a boy at school this week (he kissed her first) and tomorrow (I must be crazy) I am taking them out on a date. We are going to a 2:00 o'clock movie just E, T (the kissy mormon boy) and his little sister...oh, and me.

I NEED to go pants shopping this weekend too. Monday begins my full-time days at my job...my sweet sweet boss gave us all cash bonuses yesterday and brought in lunch for us as well as offered full-time status to me. I accepted and I also got my Property/Casualty book bound at FedEx/Kinkos Thursday night...so I am ready to start studying my hiney off.

This afternoon when I was driving home from work, I broke down in tears. I was on the phone with my mother and I was explaining what I had planned for the weekend and I said something about shopping for pants and said "because the new ones I ordered were all too big and I got rid of my OTHER too big pants and now I just have a bunch of pants that still don't fit" and for whatever reason, this was just the icing on the cake for me. I started crying - and immediately started apologizing too - "ignore me, I'm fine, I'll be fine"...when in all actuality, I was NOT fine. I was FAR FROM fine. I need to work on being more honest about my emotions sometimes. I tend to want to gloss over my sadness sometimes - maybe because sometimes I would rather be happy and something goes wrong I didn't expect. I know it's 100% okay not to be happy all of the time, it's just that I was so sad for so long - I don't want to waste any more of my life being sad.

It's time already to remove the muffins from the pan and place them into the basket for tomorrow (later this) morning. :) So I will close with a short song - one I find comfort in from time to time....