Today is the perfect day for this blog to fade into the dark.
Today marks the 38th blog entry on a blog that was designed to help ME get through an addiction to Second Life. At the beginning of this blog, I received a LOT of notes from people going through the same thing. Notes from individuals like me who were suffering the gamut of emotions - the guilt, shame and anger of addiction - and much, much more. It was such a source of support for me to get my feelings out - to talk about things that I needed to talk about. A place for me to make realizations that have all worked together to help me feel so much better. A place for people I care about to understand more about what was going on in my head.
Some days, I had tears while I typed and some days I smiled. Some days I planned in advance what I wanted to talk about and some days I let inspiration take over. I have made a lot of friends since this blog began. People I knew in SL who became close friends in real life. :) I am SO grateful for their touch on my life. They have helped in so many ways - they have worked so hard to stand beside me and hold my hand and cheer my heart. Words cannot express how much I appreciate each and every one of you who did that for me.
Recently, individuals who are still very involved with Second Life have come here to try and turn something that I felt good about into something that I felt bad about. I can assure you, they did not succeed. When I left SL, I tried to leave the drama, the false people, the liars and the mentally sick individuals behind me. It seems I have inadvertently brought them here. Even though I guess I did that to myself by including the name of my blog on my Second Life profile. Initially, I put my blog there in my profile so that my SL friends would be able to continue to follow my life. The last thing I expected was for individuals with less-than-positive intentions to come here and go on the attack. I really didn't think there was any rhyme or reason for that type of behavior. I guess I can chalk it up to another lesson learned.
As I was working on my week-long project on obsession in SL, I found myself realizing that the SL part of this blog was becoming less and less important to me. I had decided to take the blog in an entirely new direction. When I began the blog, it was a place for me to talk out my issues with addiction to a virtual world. That addiction no longer has a hold on my life.
I have continued to write about SL here (in between blog entries that had nothing to do with SL) for the people who came here for the first time and for those coming back again and again searching for help. I will leave this blog here as a source for those truly looking for help out of a very dark and depressing place - literally or figuratively speaking.
My new blog will be under a different name and I won't be advertising it in any Virtual World locations. When I repeatedly said I was trying to emerge healthy from the experience of Second Life, I meant it. I plan to Emerge Healthy in spite of the people who continue to feel as if they have to drag others down into their spiralling messes. The best way I feel to accomplish this is to start fresh with a new blog.
So I wish you all healthy futures...and a lot of hope and joy. To those who read because they needed emotional support and liked knowing that they weren't alone in their departure or desire to leave Second Life - I wish you so much good. To others, I still wish you well.
Even though it is a solemn day, in my world the sun is shining and I have so much to be thankful for. I'm ALIVE. I am emotionally better than I have been in so long. I am stronger and I face things rather than running from them. Avoiding conflict is a big reason why I ran to Second Life. I try not to avoid conflict anymore. It's really a beautiful place to be emotionally.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Re-potting things
We had rain on Monday and on Tuesday we had sleet and snow and sun and rain and clouds and wind and dark skies. Yesterday was bright and cheerful and partly cloudy with rain again. Name a weather, and we had it this week!
On Tuesday I brought home a plant that was given to me around Thanksgiving as part of a 3-plant-gift from my mother. I used it to dress up the insurance office for the holidays. The white poinsettia that came with it died - which is good. The most healthy of the three, a lovely vibrant green and yellow plant is sitting on my desk at work, and that left the "somewhere in the middle" ivy plant.
I didn't much care for the ivy. After I selected the healthiest of the three to put on my desk and dumped the dying poinsettia into the trash, I tried giving the somewhat sickly ivy away - but no one was interested in taking it. Hoping someone might change their mind, I left it in the kitchen at work and I watered it once a week, or whenever I remembered to. I watched and waited - hoping I would come in one day and it would be dead so I could just toss it. But the ivy plant struggled through being kept in the dark next to the refrigerator, being given very little water - basically forgotten.
So for these past few months I have been watching the ivy barely survive without care. It got me thinking about how the ivy could really teach me a lesson in symbolism about what happens when I have something in my life that needs a little extra care to bring it from "dying" to "thriving". I might choose to ignore it at first, but - if instead of ignoring it - if I gently pull it from it's old place, shake the roots free, place it into a new home, scatter a little fresh soil and give it cool water, it receives what it needs to grow into something better again.
The lesson is that you can take something in your life that is dying and give it new life if you try hard enough.
E. got a plant from school that needed re-potting and so Tuesday night we had a lesson in re-potting plants. :)
The ivy, only a couple of days into it's new home, is now thriving. Ultimately I was so encouraged by the idea that if I remember to do this with problems or issues in my life, I might have similar success. Something that was barely growing can thrive if I help it along.
I memorized this song in my teen years and I always repeated the lyrics to myself every time I needed a little comfort in the past. Today is a good day to be reminded that we never have to be anything more than who we are...but that with a little extra care, we can become everything we should be.
On Tuesday I brought home a plant that was given to me around Thanksgiving as part of a 3-plant-gift from my mother. I used it to dress up the insurance office for the holidays. The white poinsettia that came with it died - which is good. The most healthy of the three, a lovely vibrant green and yellow plant is sitting on my desk at work, and that left the "somewhere in the middle" ivy plant.
I didn't much care for the ivy. After I selected the healthiest of the three to put on my desk and dumped the dying poinsettia into the trash, I tried giving the somewhat sickly ivy away - but no one was interested in taking it. Hoping someone might change their mind, I left it in the kitchen at work and I watered it once a week, or whenever I remembered to. I watched and waited - hoping I would come in one day and it would be dead so I could just toss it. But the ivy plant struggled through being kept in the dark next to the refrigerator, being given very little water - basically forgotten.
So for these past few months I have been watching the ivy barely survive without care. It got me thinking about how the ivy could really teach me a lesson in symbolism about what happens when I have something in my life that needs a little extra care to bring it from "dying" to "thriving". I might choose to ignore it at first, but - if instead of ignoring it - if I gently pull it from it's old place, shake the roots free, place it into a new home, scatter a little fresh soil and give it cool water, it receives what it needs to grow into something better again.
The lesson is that you can take something in your life that is dying and give it new life if you try hard enough.
E. got a plant from school that needed re-potting and so Tuesday night we had a lesson in re-potting plants. :)
The ivy, only a couple of days into it's new home, is now thriving. Ultimately I was so encouraged by the idea that if I remember to do this with problems or issues in my life, I might have similar success. Something that was barely growing can thrive if I help it along.
I memorized this song in my teen years and I always repeated the lyrics to myself every time I needed a little comfort in the past. Today is a good day to be reminded that we never have to be anything more than who we are...but that with a little extra care, we can become everything we should be.
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